im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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