The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
