So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
the liver wants what the liver wants
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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