You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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