if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
