if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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