I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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