I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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