I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ttyl tear gas
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
