glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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