The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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