life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
