just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize