Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
