What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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