I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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