also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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