im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize