Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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