I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
