We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
