The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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