Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
