He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
