ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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