Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
