if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
