Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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