Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize