That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
