Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
