watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
