Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Drunk is a universal language darling
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