Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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