I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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