how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
