Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
