My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize