Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
