My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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