Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
