I got chris browned last night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize