Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
