I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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