is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
