is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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