worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
