come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
