i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
