So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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