Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
