apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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