Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
is that a dick in a sweater?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
