Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
