So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
