let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
