Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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