Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
