The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
