Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
