I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
