Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
