When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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