Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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