why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
