There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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