That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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