Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
