he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
