you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sext me about skeletons
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize