It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
