Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
