great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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