Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
