you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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