Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
