The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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