Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
