we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
