Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
