ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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